The Huge Dildo Homepage was originally run by Swallow on GeoCities. It was a very popular and informative site, and we had exchanged occasional email with Swallow. Then the pages disappeared. We wrote to Swallow to ask what happened, but received no response. A discussion of these pages came up on the Handball Mailing List, and as a result someone sent us some of the pages that they had saved. We decided to post them on our amateur porn site,, so that this incredible information would not be lost.

Then, Swallow contacted us again! He told us that he had been taking a vacation from cyber space for a couple of years. And since he did not think that he would be putting the Huge Dildo pages up again any time soon, he sent us a copy of the entire site! We posted the complete pages on our site. But that site has been inactive for a few years, so the pages weren't available. We recently changed into a blog site, and since these pages don't fit into a blog structure very well, we decided to give them their own site again.

We do not suggest or recommend that anyone attempt the techniques described in these pages. They are presented here for your entertainment only. We did not write these pages, and cannot answer any questions about them. We have not heard from Swallow in many years, and do not know how to contact him.We also strongly recommend that you read this Important Information before trying anything described in these pages!

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Where To Get A Huge Dildo

NOTE from Grey: Be sure to read this Important Information before trying this!

Go to your favorite adult novelty shoppe or adult book store, and buy two or three 18-inch double-headed dildos. Two 18-inch dildos will yield up to a 30-inch monster dildo, and three can produce up to a 42-inch Killer Dildo. It's far better to have it too long than too short (hey, don't we all know that!), so it's better to overestimate. You can always shorten it later if you want to. That's what I did; I'm happiest with 36-inch Huge Dildos. You'll see why later ...

Make sure you only buy the plain kind. Avoid anything marked "bendable" (that means that it has a metal core which makes it extremely dangerous, not to mention totally useless for our purposes). There are also "jelly" ones with plastic "vertebrae" inside ... don't get those. And don't get anything with bizarre stuff at one end, like handles or balls or God knows what. Just look for the simple, pink or black, relatively soft 18-inch dildos with cock heads at both ends. If they only have one such dildo, don't buy it until you find a matching one or two at another store, because you need an exact match for this to work.

Take a very sharp knife or large razor blade and cut one head off of each dildo. Don't worry; it won't hurt! This is important: make the cut just where the head ends and the smooth part of the shaft begins, and make the cut as clean and straight-through as possible. Do not saw at the dildo; the cut must be done with a single pass, so that the resulting face is perpendicular and smooth. If you accidentally cut at a slight angle, that's okay; just cut the other head at the same angle, and they'll match up.

If you bought three dildos, cut both heads off the third one.

Now, here's my inspiration that made Huge Dildos a reality.

Place the chopped-off heads into a clean Pyrex glass bowl, and microwave until the heads are halfway melted. It will take a surprisingly long time to do this, but then you have to be very careful, because it's easy to overheat it and make a cloud of horribly pungent smoke. But the heads MUST be fully melted, or this won't work. So here's what you do: as soon as you see that the heads are halfway melted, reduce the cooking power to 20% or so. That way the unmelted part will have a chance to absorb the heat without the melted part overheating.

Now, get the dildos ready and lined up. We're going to "glue" them together with the same material that they are made out of, so it'll be a perfect and permanent bond. I use a Formica countertop; just about any cool, smooth surface would work. Make sure you have a hotpad or towel or something like that to place the VERY HOT bowl on; something that will not conduct the heat away from the bowl, because it's vital to keep the liquid as hot as possible for as long as possible.

When the heads are completely melted, remove the bowl from the microwave (CAREFUL! It's VERY hot!) and place it on the hotpad or towel, and then RIGHT AWAY touch the cut ends of BOTH dildos to the surface of the liquid, and hold them there for 10 or 15 seconds. This gives the dildos a chance to heat up almost to the temperature of the liquid, so as to make the best bond.

Then very quickly remove the dildos from the liquid and join them together, on the countertop or flat working surface. There will be a small amount of liquid that oozes from the joint; that's okay. Hold it steady for at least a minute or two as the liquid hardens. It takes a while to completely harden; the inside will remain hot for many minutes. What I do is carefully carry it to the sink and run cold water over the joint until squeezing it releases no more heat. Or you can just leave it for a few hours.

If you're making a Killer Dildo out of three, repeat the "glue" procedure after the first two have completely cooled.

Now touch up the joints by cutting away the hardened ooze with a razor blade. If you're very careful, you can really make the final result look professional by holding the Huge Dildo by both ends, dipping the joint into the bowl of hot liquid, and slowly rotating the Huge Dildo so as to cover the joint with a thin sheath. My two favorite Huge Dildos look so good that you can't even tell where the joints are! This is not only a cosmetic nicety, but the smoothness really makes it feel better as it slides through your innards.

Next: How To Deep-Throat A Huge Dildo

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