The Huge Dildo Homepage was originally run by Swallow on GeoCities. It was a very popular and informative site, and we had exchanged occasional email with Swallow. Then the pages disappeared. We wrote to Swallow to ask what happened, but received no response. A discussion of these pages came up on the Handball Mailing List, and as a result someone sent us some of the pages that they had saved. We decided to post them on our amateur porn site,, so that this incredible information would not be lost.

Then, Swallow contacted us again! He told us that he had been taking a vacation from cyber space for a couple of years. And since he did not think that he would be putting the Huge Dildo pages up again any time soon, he sent us a copy of the entire site! We posted the complete pages on our site. But that site has been inactive for a few years, so the pages weren't available. We recently changed into a blog site, and since these pages don't fit into a blog structure very well, we decided to give them their own site again.

We do not suggest or recommend that anyone attempt the techniques described in these pages. They are presented here for your entertainment only. We did not write these pages, and cannot answer any questions about them. We have not heard from Swallow in many years, and do not know how to contact him.We also strongly recommend that you read this Important Information before trying anything described in these pages!

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What If It Gets Stuck?

It won't get stuck inside you, as long as you remember to:

If it does get stuck inside you, here's what to do.

If it goes all the way up your ass, no problem. Just push it out, the same way you take a shit. It'll feel like the biggest shit you've ever shat, but if you used enough lube, it'll be a very pleasant feeling indeed. If you didn't follow instructions, and it's stuck in there with shit and insufficient lube, you may have to wait for nature to take its course. Don't worry; this too shall pass. I always take the full length into my gut. I even enjoy keeping it in there for a long time (see related story on the previous page). I've attended church with a huge dildo inside me. I've shaken the hands of rich and famous people while a huge dildo rested comfortably inside me. It gives me intense pleasure to do things like that. But I digress.

Getting a huge dildo stuck in your throat is a different matter entirely. If you didn't follow instructions, and allowed the end to get inside your mouth or even farther, and didn't lube it well enough, if you panic, you will die. Even if you don't panic, you will probably die, unless you master the fine art of total throat control, and are able to reverse-swallow (upchuck) anything in your throat (see related story on the previous page). Here are a few suggestions, but don't sue me if they don't work and you die.

Emergency Action #1: Bend over and try to push it out with your cough/vomit/gag reflex muscles. Unless you've practiced this ahead of time, you might not be able to do it. I highly suggest spending some time experimenting with your throat's ability to push stuff in both directions. With enough practice, it's possible to hide a huge dildo completely down your throat and then pop it right back out at will (see related story on the previous page).

Emergency Action #2: If the end is still visible in your mouth but you can't grab it with your fingers, a pair of pliers or chicken tongs or anything like that will be able to grab it. As soon as enough is extracted, yank the rest out manually.

Emergency Action #3: Swallow it completely! Although this will require a trip to the doctor to have it removed, a little humiliation is better than death. If you try to swallow and it just won't move, then try:

Emergency Action #4: Shove it further down with a second dildo! I was choking on a hotdog once and almost asphyxiated, but my life was saved by a huge dildo that I rammed into my throat, pushing the hotdog into my stomach. Doctor Heimlich would probably not recommend this maneuver, especially in a restaurant, but hey, it works!

Emergency Action #5: Pray quickly. Make your peace with God, because you're going to meet him in a few seconds. I'm only half joking ... I'd really hate to find out that any of my "students" died by choking. It's a horrendous fate that can be so easily avoided. Promise me that you'll read this whole website and that you'll be careful. Do you promise? Good. Now go have fun!

Next: Isn't This Dangerous?

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