The Huge Dildo Homepage was originally run by Swallow on GeoCities. It was a very popular and informative site, and we had exchanged occasional email with Swallow. Then the pages disappeared. We wrote to Swallow to ask what happened, but received no response. A discussion of these pages came up on the Handball Mailing List, and as a result someone sent us some of the pages that they had saved. We decided to post them on our amateur porn site,, so that this incredible information would not be lost.

Then, Swallow contacted us again! He told us that he had been taking a vacation from cyber space for a couple of years. And since he did not think that he would be putting the Huge Dildo pages up again any time soon, he sent us a copy of the entire site! We posted the complete pages on our site. But that site has been inactive for a few years, so the pages weren't available. We recently changed into a blog site, and since these pages don't fit into a blog structure very well, we decided to give them their own site again.

We do not suggest or recommend that anyone attempt the techniques described in these pages. They are presented here for your entertainment only. We did not write these pages, and cannot answer any questions about them. We have not heard from Swallow in many years, and do not know how to contact him.We also strongly recommend that you read this Important Information before trying anything described in these pages!

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What Lubricants Are Best?

This is a very personal matter. Personal tastes differ widely. What some people love, others hate. There is no "best", except what's best for you. Trite, but true!

That being said, here are a few things to keep in mind as you shop for lubricants.

Avoid the ones that dry out too fast, because dry lube is no lube. Sex literature always says to avoid oil-based lubes because they make condoms fail, but we're not talking about sex here. We're talking about dildos, not condoms; oil does not make dildos fail! And we're not talking about sharing body fluids with somebody else, just taking a clean dildo inside you. So don't worry about using oil-based lubes. Their best feature is that they do not dry out.

Beware the strongly flavored or scented lubes. They cause a burning sensation when they get deeper inside you than their manufacturers intended (or ever dreamed possible!).

I just use heavy mineral oil, the kind sold by your friendly neighborhood pharmacy as a laxative. (Be careful not to get light mineral oil, which is not intended for internal use!) Mineral oil is just the right viscosity, it's colorless and won't stain your clothes or bedding, it's odorless and tasteless so it won't interfere with the experience of feeling that huge dildo inside you, and it's so inexpensive that you never will be tempted to use too little. Crisco is good for the same reasons, but it's better for ass action than throat action because it tastes like, uh, Crisco.

Coconut oil? Okay, if it's the real thing.

Suntan oil that smells like coconuts? NO! It's not for internal use! Read the freakin' bottle! Don't poison yourself! Sheesh!

By the way, if you're tempted to use bizarre things like strawberry jam or teriyaki sauce ... be careful. Many things that taste good or seem totally innocent suddenly turn into wicked irritants when used as dildo lubes. Don't even THINK about trying "sport ointments" like Ben Gay; despite the enticing name, it will put you in agony! Don't ask me how I know this ... it's a sad story. Just trust me. Finally, don't try anything that's too thin or watery, because they offer no real lubricating properties.

Whatever you use: use lots of it!

Next: Don't Dildos Taste Funny?

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