The Huge Dildo Homepage was originally run by Swallow on GeoCities. It was a very popular and informative site, and we had exchanged occasional email with Swallow. Then the pages disappeared. We wrote to Swallow to ask what happened, but received no response. A discussion of these pages came up on the Handball Mailing List, and as a result someone sent us some of the pages that they had saved. We decided to post them on our amateur porn site,, so that this incredible information would not be lost.

Then, Swallow contacted us again! He told us that he had been taking a vacation from cyber space for a couple of years. And since he did not think that he would be putting the Huge Dildo pages up again any time soon, he sent us a copy of the entire site! We posted the complete pages on our site. But that site has been inactive for a few years, so the pages weren't available. We recently changed into a blog site, and since these pages don't fit into a blog structure very well, we decided to give them their own site again.

We do not suggest or recommend that anyone attempt the techniques described in these pages. They are presented here for your entertainment only. We did not write these pages, and cannot answer any questions about them. We have not heard from Swallow in many years, and do not know how to contact him.We also strongly recommend that you read this Important Information before trying anything described in these pages!

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Is Deep-Throating A Huge Dildo In Public Illegal?

Probably! Check your local laws to make sure!

The laws here in California are strange. Even showing a dildo in public is illegal. Trouble is, the definition of dildo is not clear. A simple cylinder of latex is not illegal. So if you take a dildo and cut the head off and round the ends, you have a perfectly functional dildo, but legal to carry openly in public. However, if you were to publicly start deep-throating it, I have no doubt that you'd be arrested and that the judge would lower the boom on you. I find this unfortunate, since it's not an indecent act to swallow a cylinder of latex and then pull it back out.

On the other hand, California law is more relaxed regarding shops that sell dildos. Although they are otherwise classified as places of public commerce, they are allowed to display sex toys that are not allowed in public. (See how messed up the law is?) And once in Los Angeles at a large adult store I asked the clerk (a cute young surfer-type with long blond hair) whether they had any dildos longer than the 18-inchers on display. He laughed and asked what I'd do with a longer one. I said that I needed something longer for my throat. He said that the 18-incher was all I'd ever need. I said, no, I can get this whole thing down my throat and I want something longer. He said, you're lying, nobody can deep-throat 18 inches! I said, wanna bet? He said, yeah, I'll bet you that dildo. So I unwrapped it and gulped it down right in front of him. I got three dildos that day for the price of two ... and his phone number!

On the other hand, merely touching another customer there or playing with yourself will land you in jail faster than you can say "PeeWee Herman"! Go figure. It's all very confusing.

If the laws where you live make sense, I'd love to hear about it! Meanwhile, follow the fundamental law of prudent action: When in doubt, don't.

I must confess that I enjoy taking a huge dildo down to Heisler Park in Laguna Beach late at night on a regular basis and having fun with the guys who can always be found there looking for action. It's illegal, but Laguna Beach is very gay-tolerant, and everybody knows that the park is OURS at night! But if you send me email and I don't answer within a few days, I'll probably be in jail ... making new friends ...

Next: Do You Mind Bizarre Email? Do You Answer Email?

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